Sexual Addiction Self-Assessment


  1. Do you become restless or irritable when sex is not available?

    Yes No
  2. Have you ever tried and failed to control the amount of sexual activity you engage in?

    Yes No
  3. Do you feel a need to conceal from others either the nature or frequency of your sexual activities? Do you lead a “secret life”?

    Yes No
  4. Have you had sex at inappropriate times, in inappropriate places, or with inappropriate partners?

    Yes No
  5. Have you lost count of how many sexual partners you have had?

    Yes No
  6. Do you continue to have compulsive sex despite negative consequences: disease, arrest, loss of finances, career, reputation, family or friends?

    Yes No
  7. Do you feel your sexual activities compromise your personal values and spiritual development?

    Yes No
  8. Do you feel shame about your sexual activities?

    Yes No
  9. Have you neglected your family, friends, or work because of the time you spend in sexual activities?

    Yes No
  10. Has your sexual behavior ever left you feeling hopeless, alienated from others, or suicidal?

    Yes No

SCORE out of 10

If your score is 3 or more , your sexual behavior may be out of control. You might be an addict. The good news is that you are not alone, and there is help. If you are concerned about your sexual behavior, call for an appointment or more information. (415) 776-0960

Resources and Links

Recommended Readings

  • After the Affair, Janis Spring and Michael Spring (Harper, 1997)
  • A Gentle Path Through the Twelve Steps, Patrick Carnes (CompCare, 1993)
  • Back from Betrayal: Recovering from His Affairs, Jennifer Schneider (Recovery Resources Press, 2005)
  • Contrary to Love: Helping the Sexual Addict, Patrick Carnes (Hazeldon, 1994)
  • Cybersex Exposed: Simple Fantasy or Obsession, Jennifer Schneider and Robert Weiss (Hazeldon, 2001)
  • Cybersex Unhooked: A Workbook for Breaking Free of Online Sexual Behavior , David L. Delmonico, Elizabeth Griffin and Joseph Moriarity (Gentle Path, 2001)
  • Deceived: Facing Sexual Betrayal, Lies, and Secrets, Claudia Black (Hazeldon, 2009)
  • Disclosing Secrets, Deborah Corley and Jennifer Schneider (Gentle Path, 2002)
  • Don’t Call It Love: Recovery from Sexual Addiction , Patrick Carnes (Bantam Books, 1992)
  • Erotic Intelligence, Alexandra Katehakis (Health Communications, 2010)
  • Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes From, How It Sabotages Our Lives , Pia Melody (Harper, 1989)
  • Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love, Pia Melody (Harper One, 2003)
  • Facing the Shadow: Starting Sexual and Relationship Recovery , Patrick Carnes (Gentle Path, 2001)
  • Hope and Freedom for Sexual Addicts and Their Partners, Milton Magness (Gentle Path, 2009)
  • Hope and Recovery: A Twelve Step Guide for Healing from Compulsive Sexual Behavior , (CompCare, 1987)
  • In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior, Patrick Carnes, David Delmonico, and Elizabeth Griffin (Hazeldon, 2001)
  • Is It Love or Is It Addiction? , Brenda Schaeffer (Hazeldon, 1997)
  • Lust, Anger, Love: Understanding Sex Addiction and The Road to Healthy Intimacy, Maureen Canning (Sourcebooks, 2008)
  • Mending A Shattered Heart: A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts, Ed. By Stephanie Carnes (Gentle Path, 2008)
  • Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction , Patrick Carnes (Hazeldon, 2001)
  • Ready to Heal - Women Facing Love, Sex and Relationship Issues, Kelly McDaniel (Gentle Path, 2008)
  • Sexual Anorexia: Overcoming Sexual Self-Hatred, Patrick Carnes with Joseph M. Moriarity (Hazeldon, 1997)
  • Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners, Kenneth Adams (Heath Communications, 1991)
  • The Betrayal Bond, Patrick Carnes (Heath Communications, 1997)
  • The Intimacy Factor: The Ground Rules for Overcoming the Obstacles to Truth, Respect, and Lasting Love , Pia Melody (Harper, 2004)
  • Untangling the Web: Sex, Porn, and Fantasy Obsession in the Internet Age, Jennifer Schneider and Robert Weiss (Alyson Books, 2006)
  • When He’s Married to Mom, Kenneth Adams (Fireside Books, 2007)